Category Archives: Russia

Rediscovering the heart I left

Reposting articles from our travel blog in order to update them with photos. Last one.

In recognizing that Piter is not and will not ever be again what it was for me eight years ago (and really, what place, person or thing ever is?), it allows me to enjoy this place better and more fully and appreciate it for what it is now.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in past impressions or in romanticized expectations for just about anything — trips, major “milestones”, even relationships. There is always tension between what should be and what is. And it’s important that it does exist — in many cases, it pushes us to be and do better, to experience more, to make the most and be our best. But it is also important to recognize the limitations in any scenario. And to appreciate them despite their shortcomings. Perhaps even because of them.
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Chasing Shadows in Piter

Reposting articles from our travel blog in order to update them with photos.

Perhaps in another time, under different circumstances, Russia would be mine, or more correctly, I hers. But that fateful May day four years ago when I chose a life with Randy over one in Russia, I understand now that I began to lose her forever.

In that moment, I sacrificed any opportunity I might ever have to live here. To become fluent in any meaningful capacity. To understand with any real, tangible depth what it means to be Russian.

This realization is not without sadness or a profound feeling of loss. However, I am all the same content and happy with my life.There are always many roads open to each of us. In some cases, one is clearly wrong, and in others, clearly right. But I have found that most choices lay clouded in ambiguity — for most are neither wrong nor right, but “simply” a choice. And these choices we make with great care. Or at least I have. So while I may mourn the loss of one destiny, it does not imply with necessity the dissatisfaction of my current trajectory.

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What a difference a place makes

reposting articles from our travel blog in order to update them with photos.

Place matters to me. I can’t explain it. I feel a place well before I see it fully. There are places that resonate with me and places that don’t. In the places that don’t, I am sluggish, uneasy, uninspired. In the places that do, I find myself energized, more confidant and definitely inspired.

The difference between Moscow and Suzdal is staggering in that regard.

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